Break In

I hear about hotels getting robbed all the time. After all, there's usually only one or two people on duty and, unlike gas stations, you don't see the front desk clerks stuffing shotguns underneath of the counter in the movies. Last night was the first time I ever heard of someone robbing a hotel room. It was also only the third time I ever had to call the police for anything, and it was the first time I ever had to call the police twice in one day about two separate issues (see previous post -- and fyi, the police never came to get those two).

So here's the deal. Last night at about 10 o'clock I get a call from a guest I just checked in saying that the window to room 139 was busted out. I go down and verify that the window was indeed broken. So I assume that what happened was was that the guest who was staying in that room was drunk and broke it himself. I assume that it's no major issue, so I proceed back to the front desk to try and call the manager or owner to see how much to charge this guy for damages. The manager doesn't answer the phone and just as I'm about to call the owner, a whole shit load of people walk in so I'm wasn't able to call him.

At about 10:45, the guest staying in room 139 comes waltzing into the lobby to tell me that his room has been broken into. Naturally, I call the police and ask to get somebody up here. But this guest... He was just a complete asshole. He keeps asking me who called the hotel asking for him, and I tell him that nobody did. He accuses me of lying, and is all like, "Why are you so nervous? I'm the one who got all of his stuff stolen!" and "Oh no, you aren't leaving until the police get here!" Well, hell. I guess people breaking into hotel rooms, what other guests are going to say about it, the fact that I was working when it happened, and the future of my job are nothing to be the slightest bit worried about. Things got pretty heated, but thankfully there wasn't anybody else in the lobby at the time. And besides... I was planning on staying until the police arrived. Guess who wasn't, though.

So the police arrive and I take them down to room 139. The guest wasn't in there, because I had assigned him to another room, we assumed, so I brought a key to let them in. After a quick look, they want to talk to the guest. I tell them I moved him to 140, which is right around the corner. However... Nobody's in there. The curtain is still pulled back so that's easy enough to see, but I get a key for it and let the police in to make sure.

As it so turns out, the "victim" of this break in is no where to be found. Joe, the other frontdesk who had barely just arrived, said a little while later after checking room 140 that he saw the guest's black jeep wrangler drive around the building -- but when he got to a point where he could see the police cruisers, he abruptly turns around and left in a hurry. Basically, based on the fact that he didn't stick around to see the police, the police officers said they think the guest was drunk, had locked himself out of the room, and to get back in to his stuff, busted out the window to reach in and turn the door handle to let himself back in.

Needless to say, we last saw him at about 11 o'clock, not longer after I called the cops. Just as I was about to walk out the door to go home at about 11:45, a woman whom I'm guessing to be the guy's wife called for him. It was kinda funny how I had to explain everything to her. She was just like, "Oh, Lord..." and that was about the end of it, thank God. I had to be back in to work again in less than eight hours, so I was as happy as hell to get out of there.

By the way, guess what this guy's name was! It was Martin Luther. That's some funny shit right there, if you ask me.

"It's gone on long enough," he says.

So our maintenance guy, Rafiel, is about to clock out for the day and leave. Before he does though, he tells me that I need to call 911. He doesn't make it sound urgent, so I was kind of wondering if he wasn't joking. But then he says he's serious, and explains that there's two people having sex out in the parking lot.

I thought of that whole get a room "joke" to couples who are getting all lovey dovey in public, and realized that was somewhat ironic since they were doing it in a hotel parking lot. But anyway, this is ridiculous. I mean, children stay here all the time. It's total bullshit. And apparently it happens all the time, and as Rafiel told me, "It's gone on long enough."

Anyway, from my perspective, I can't get a peek at any of the action. I don't know if they're hot, two men, two women, a threesome or what. I've called the police and they've sent someone out to us, I'm just waiting for them to get here. If anything else happens that's worth posting, I'll keep you updated.

"Hey, do I get that thing I signed when I checked in?"

When a guest checks in to our fine establishment, they have to sign a page that has all of their information on it, such as their address and what not. But before we hand them the page to be signed, we first take an imprint of their credit card. All we do is imprint an image of the card on the bottom of the page.

When guests check in to a room, then find that they don't like it and decide to leave, 9 times out of 10 they'll ask for that page back, as was the case with one moron today. He didn't like the fact that he had to carry his luggage a couple of yards to his room, as his room wasn't on the parking lot side of the building. So the guy decides to leave since I have nothing available on the parking lot side to give him, but not before asking if he can have that paper he signed. I have to explain to him that his credit card wasn't charged, and that we keep those pages. He asks me why he can't have it, and I explain that I don't make the policy. He throws a hissy fit, says "Well now I know not to ever stay at a Days Inn," and leaves. As he walks out the door, I here him muttering something about how the place is empty and how he can't believe we have nothing on the parking lot side.

Now, this guy shows many of the same characteristics of just about all of the dickwads who causes us trouble. The first, they seem to think that this little piece of paper is the only record of them that we have. Apparently they think we could wave it up in the air and pray to the almighty god, Visa, holy is thy name, and have the card charged and the money placed in our accounts. They're never worried about the fact that we still have a record of them and their credit cards in our systems which we never delete (and technically can't be deleted; after all, why do you think the government breaks their hard drives into a million pieces and incinerates them when disposing of them?). So naturally it goes without saying that they never ask "We've been removed from your system, right?"

Secondly, there's the whole "never stay at Days Inn" remark. All of these dickwads seem to think that all Days Inns are owned by this giant cooperation. In reality, Days Inn is a franchise. Meaning, each Days Inn individually and separately owned and operated. Saying you're not going to stay at any Days Inn because of a bad room you got at one in some shitty little town is like saying that you aren't going to shop at Walmart ever again because the milk you bought at Food Lion was spoiled. So go ahead and not stay at any more Days Inns anymore... It's not like we were getting any money from any of the others in the first place, you jackass.

And the third and final thing (for this post at least), the whole "oh but they look so empty" business. Well, duh we look empty. Just look at the damn time. People generally eat diner at about 5:30, you know. I doubt people like to spend half a day cooped up in a hotel room either, and would like to spend the evening out watching a movie or bowling or something. And then let's not forget about all of the reservations remaining, and since they got their rooms days, weeks, months, and occasionally, a year in advance of the walk-ins, we like to give them the better rooms on the parking lot side. Of course, in this particular case with this particular dickwad we had maybe five reservations at the time. But still, given everything else I've just said...

Welcome!

Welcome to the HOTEL OF THE DAMNED, where guests check in but they don't check out! (oOoOoOoOo...)

So instead of creating that topic on the (La Mafian) forums, I've done what I suggested that I might do and I've started a blogspot blog. What you'll see here are the details on all of the crazy and stupid shit that goes on at the Days Inn in Staunton, Virginia, at which I've been an employee for over two years now. Enjoy!